How do you get past the heartbreak?
Growing up as a San Francisco 49ers fan and a Boston Red Sox fan, I have a unique relationship with heartbreak. I’m not even angry about it anymore, I’m just numb. I still grind my teeth over the 1973 NFC playoffs … and Bucky Dent’s home run in 1978. I get angry just reading about the 49ers’ 1957 playoff loss to the Detroit Lions (they blew a 27-7 second-half lead).
I remember vividly all those losses, the insane comeback by the Cowboys in the ’73 playoffs (Dallas scored 17 points in the final 2 minutes to win 30-28, I still remember that … and the final score), the loss to the Giants in the 1990 NFC championship when all the Giants had was some schmoe named Jeff Hostettler, the loss on a fade in the end zone at Super Bowl XLVII, the loss on a fade in the end zone against the Seahawks in the 2013 playoffs, the 1977 AL tiebreaker, the ball through Bill Buckner’s legs in 1986, Grady Little in 2003. All of it still hurts.
Oh, yeah, sure, my teams have won a few championships here and there I guess, but man, the memories of the losses sting longer and harder than the joy from the wins. Something about human psychology that makes us focus on the bad more than the good.
So, after all those losses, I have no desire to rub salt in the wounds of any Washington State Cougars fans in my vicinity. Yeah, OK, I couldn’t help laughing a little at the anguish on the faces of the Cougars’ fans watching their team blow a 32-point lead over UCLA Friday. I mean, the angst was just so extreme.
I can laugh at it because I’ve been there. We all have. Even you Seahawks fans. All I have to do is say, “Y’know, I really think Roethlisberger scored on that touchdown … ” to get a Seahawks fan going.
I can laugh at it because my school, Fresno State, lost two straight games to USC and Minnesota on identical plays, a pass lobbed to wide-open receivers in the end zone (in the final seconds to USC and in double OT against Minnesota), picked off by a safety playing center field.
They lost two straight in the same … exact … way. Take that Cougs fans.
OK, that’s not as bad as what you went through. I don’t think anything could be that bad.
Deal with losing
I’m kind of a believer that how we deal with losing shows more about our character than how we deal with winning. Because few of us ever get the chance to win our final game. There are more than 250 high schools in Washington and only six teams in each sports wins its final game/match/meet of the year. The other 250 teams are LOSERS. If that’s how you choose to look at it.
One of toughest phone conversations I think I’ve ever had was with Port Angeles boys basketball coach Kasey Ulin last year. The Roughriders had an amazing team last year, storming through the Olympic League 2A Division and winning the league championship, beating juggernaut North Kitsap two games out of three to earn the league title outright. They really looked like they were going to do a lot of damage at the state tournament.
Then, the Riders had some rough games at the district playoffs and didn’t qualify for state after all that success they had experienced all year. I know it had to be a huge disappointment. Coach Ulin had a hard time talking about it and I could tell it hit him really hard.
And it probably will for a long time. A play here, a play there, that’s all it would have taken.
If only McNamara had put Stapleton at first base in 1986 instead of Buckner. If only Kaepernick had thrown that pass to Crabtree six inches higher…
That’s how it goes. It’s what grinds your teeth into the wee hours of the night.
It’s so weird, because the success gets forgotten about. Oh, the 49ers have won five Super Bowls? The Red Sox have won four World Series since 2004? But … Grady Little, man! What about Grady Little?
Those Roughriders last winter went 12-1 in league and 17-4 in the regular season. Nothing will ever take away from that success. It didn’t end the way the Riders wanted it to, but ultimately at the end of the year, they can only be one team winning its final game.
It’s all about picking up the pieces. Moving on. Learning if you can. Hang on to the pain if it helps motivate you, but don’t let it eat you up from inside out.
Because that’s real winning. Cheer up Cougars fan, the sun rose on Sunday morning. And the Utah Utes are waiting. No good pouting about it.
