‘This is an intense time’: Therapists help clients face stress gracefully

EDITOR’S NOTE:

This is the second of a two-part series on retirees worrying about finances. The first installments appeared Sunday and can be read at the bottom of the home page today.

PORT ANGELES — Paul Daley has not seen too many times like these.

In his 25 years working as a licensed psychotherapist in Port Angeles, he’s seen plenty of strife. His clients include married couples and veterans.

But for weeks now, he’s watched a particular form of stress worsen.

For Daley’s clients, it’s all about the economy and what might happen after Tuesday.

“This is an intense time,” Daley said, with two big pieces of history crashing into each other: the national-to-global financial crisis and the presidential election.

Bad news

He talks with clients who see, hear and read all kinds of ominous data in the news: unemployment rising, stock market plummeting, government bailouts ballooning.

Television anchors repeat the stuff 15 times an hour, and then there’s the text crawl at the bottom of the screen with even more bad news, so it’s no wonder people are feeling rattled, he said.

JES Schumacher, a certified biofeedback therapist who works in Port Townsend and Sequim, also noticed some ups and downs — in the financial markets and among her clients.

“There was a downturn in clients when the market took a nosedive,” Schumacher observed.

Some apparently were afraid to spend money on her treatments. But now many of her clients are coming back, she said, with a renewed interest in self-care.

Stress can make many medical conditions — from migraines to hypertension — worse, Schumacher said. Biofeedback therapy is one way to treat and relax the whole body, including the mind.

A national study reflects what Daley and Schumacher are seeing.

About 50 percent of Americans say they are increasingly stressed over meeting their families’ basic needs, and 80 percent say the state of the economy is a major factor, according to an October report by the American Psychological Association.

Generally, women feel more money stress than men do, according to the report: 85 percent of American women say they’re worried about finances, while 75 percent of men expressed the same concern.

And women above age 62 are reporting intensified stress because of health problems in their families and because of the economic crisis.

Their stress levels are significantly worse than six months ago, the association reported.

Very often, “women are the thermometer, the monitor, of emotional health in the family,” Daley said.

He has female clients who worry not only about finances but also about the emotional consequences of hard times.

In some cases their husbands are angry with them for being so worried.

Daley said none of his clients has lost his or her job or home.

There are those who are in their 50s or early 60s, however, who’d hoped to retire early and travel.

They’re realizing, he said, that their investments might not provide for that any time soon.

Election hopes, fears

Daley hears some passionate feelings, too, about which presidential candidate can help the country out of the mess, and which one might bring us deeper into it.

“People are really engaged in the election,” he said. “There are big fears about the consequences of the ‘really bad’ choice.

“It scares them even more when they see that there are people out there who think the ‘horrible one’ is the good candidate. That adds to people’s stress.”

A day in Daley’s life lately can include a 9 a.m. appointment with a client who believes Democratic Sen. Barack Obama is the best choice, a 10 a.m. client who believes Republican Sen. John McCain is the best, an 11 a.m. with an Obama supporter and so on until 6 p.m.

It’s enough to make even a seasoned therapist feel stressed out.

Stress busters

Fortunately Daley knows of proven stress-management tactics — beyond the pat “eat right and exercise” refrain.

Putting good food in your body and moving your body are important, he acknowledged. Exercise is the second most popular response to stress, according to an American Psychological Association study.

Listening to music is No. 1,with 52 percent of respondents using it to mellow themselves. Reading is No. 3, and spending time with friends and family No. 4. Praying was touted as the prime stress-relief technique by 37 percent of respondents, just ahead of eating, listed by 34 percent.

Daley offers another technique: deciding to pay attention to small, sweet things in the course of the day.

“You can notice the kindness of people, when they say ‘Good morning,'” for example.

“There’s quite a bit of people being kind to each other around here. You just have to notice it. These are tiny things,” Daley said, that can lift the mood.

Daley himself notices things like funny readerboard messages and the red and gold leaves all over town.

He does not belittle anyone’s stress. And he knows well the unforeseen problems that befall us. Humans naturally look for reasons to be worried, Daley said, but we’re also capable of shifting our focus to something that makes us feel good.

Daley calls it “noticing the beauty and tenderness in the world that floats through life.”

“One of my most scared clients concentrated on doing that,” he said.

When she came in for her next session, she reported — for the first time in a long while – that she’d had a good week.

Grain of salt

At the same time, Daley suggests taking dire media reports about the economy with a grain of salt.

Be selective about which and how much news you consume, he advises.

And when somebody in the locker room or grocery line starts talking about the stock market or the presidential hopefuls, remember that you don’t have to let their words dig under your skin. You can change the subject, or just smile and shrug.

We need not be buffeted by all of the woes and what-ifs in this city, country and world, Daley often says.

He encourages clients to “cope as best you can, let as much go as you can, and manage what is left gracefully.”

Part of this grace comes in giving yourself a break if you find yourself coping imperfectly. So you stayed up until 1 a.m. watching television, though you know sleep is a great stress reliever.

“Cut yourself some slack,” Daley said. “You’ll be tired today. Be the best tired person you can be.”

Schumacher added that simply tuning into your breathing is a powerful way to respond, rather than react, to a tense environment.

And with the election finally at hand, she’s finding that her clients and colleagues are perking up.

“To some degree people are hopeful,” she said. “They’re looking forward to a change.”

________

Sequim-Dungeness Valley Editor Diane Urbani de la Paz can be reached at 360-681-2391 or at diane.urbani@peninsuladailynews.com.

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