PORT TOWNSEND — When Patricia Bolen was first finding her way around the ukulele, she’d call her sweetheart, Don, and play him the latest chord she’d learned.
“He’d say, ‘Oh! That is so good!’” she remembers.
That was 11 years ago, after Don gave her a ukulele as a surprise present.
The couple married, on the beach at Hanalei Bay, Kauai, in 2010.
“It was very lovely, at sunset. Rose petals on the sand. We had a ukulele player,” Bolen recalled.
“How does it get any better than that?”
Living in Port Townsend was good to the couple too. Bolen, a trauma therapist by profession, joined Ukuleles Unite!, the now decade-old group of singers and strummers. They play in parades, at open-mic nights and lately in online sing-alongs.
Bolen is a tireless carrier of the “joie d’ukulele” torch, said fellow UU! member Bruce Cowan. She spreads cheer and inspiration — and the time has come now, he said, to return the favor.
On Nov. 2, about three dozen ukulelists, vocalists and friends got together on a Zoom call and sang to Bolen: songs ranging from “You’ve Got a Friend” and “Let Me Be There” to “Yellow Submarine” and “Love Me Do.” It was a kind of online shower of musical support for a woman in the midst of an intensely trying time.
About six years into the Bolens’ marriage, Don was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, though “about four years in, I knew something was up,” his wife said.
“I was his caregiver until the end of August. I put him in San Juan Villa,” a memory care facility in Port Townsend.
“It is a wonderful place,” she said.
Bolen “hadn’t done any self-care in five years,” and when she went in to have a facial, her esthetician urged her to have a doctor look at the spot on her nose.
It was an invasive basal cell carcinoma. Surgery was necessary as soon as possible. Bolen did not have her operation until several weeks later, though, because her husband became ill.
Don was infected with COVID-19 and died Sept. 9. He is among 17 people in Jefferson County who have succumbed to the illness since the beginning of the pandemic.
Don was vaccinated, his wife said.
Don, who was 77, was a victim of one of several long-term care center outbreaks, said Dr. Allison Berry, health officer for Clallam and Jefferson counties.
The San Juan Villa outbreak “was unfortunately driven by unvaccinated staff,” Berry said.
“While nearly all of the residents were vaccinated, the same was not true of the staff,” Berry said by text Tuesday.
Bolen added, in a soft voice, that, because of COVID precautions, she was not allowed to be with her husband when he died.
Her first facial surgery was set for Oct. 11 at Jefferson Healthcare hospital. Much of Bolen’s nose had to be removed that day. On Oct. 12, she underwent another operation to “build the scaffolding,” as the surgeon put it, to rebuild her nose.
This past Monday, Bolen had a third reconstructive surgery.
“It’s too much at once,” she acknowledged in an interview last Friday.
Yet Bolen added quickly that her daughter, who lives in Austin, Texas, has come to stay with her during her recovery. She’s been unable to wear her glasses to read and unable to drive since she’s on pain medication, but she is able to access her friends and her sense of humor.
“I had a ‘bolster’ sewn on my nose,” after the first surgeries, she said. The thing was “like a cube of butter,” hence the lack of room for her glasses.
Listening to the Ukuleles Unite! crew sing to her was “a great feeling,” an audible reminder of the community Bolen enjoys in the group.
There’s something about the uke, she said, adding she also felt it in the ukulele club she joined in Monterey, Calif., when she and Don lived there.
“It’s just really funny to me: There’s this ukulele community all around the world, with clubs everywhere,” she said.
“They’re all the same kind of people. They love the instrument, and maybe they aren’t that good,” but they’re excellent at camaraderie.
Seriously, though: “Being a therapist, I have a lot of skills,” such as looking at a wretched situation from different perspectives, “and really trying to be positive. When a negative thought comes in, I try to go, ‘I can’t wait to have this [illness] gone,’” and “Yay, no more cancer.”
Her therapy clients also have taught her about strength, Bolen added.
“One of the things I love about trauma work: I’m amazed by the resilience of people. Someone can go through something horrific and come out changed but resilient and strong.”
Bolen is missing her clients these days. She’ll have to wait a while before returning to her office, and she’ll have to deal with the financial impact of funeral expenses, medical care and no income for much of this fall.
Terri Alexander, one of Bolen’s Ukuleles Unite! friends, is addressing that, even as Cowan announced a second sing-along. It’s set for 5 p.m. Dec. 7 on Zoom, with a link to be provided at ukulelesunite.com. Holiday music is on the menu this time, Cowan said.
Meantime, Alexander has put up a fundraiser at GoFundMe.com. A search for Patricia Bolen’s name locates the page where donations can be made. As of Tuesday, $7,390 had been donated toward a $10,000 goal.
Another surgery is in Bolen’s future.
“They have to do a pretty-it-up thing” on her nose, she said.
Playing the ukulele is something else she looks forward to.
If they meet, Bolen told a reporter, “I might stick a ukulele in your hands and teach you a chord.”
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Jefferson County senior reporter Diane Urbani de la Paz can be reached at 360-417-3509 or durbanidelapaz@peninsuladailynews.com.
