PORT TOWNSEND — Most children are raised by their parents and spoiled by their grandparents, but some families must be more flexible.
“We’ve had to learn how to do both,” said Mary Durham of Port Townsend, smiling as she watched her ex-husband, Gale Durham, with their grandson at a court ceremony that awarded the 53-year-old grandfather sole legal custody of the spirited 4-year-old boy.
Since children are placed at risk when their parents are deemed unfit, adoption has become an option for their continued care and safety.
This was demonstrated Wednesday during the adoption of Cody Durham by his grandfather.
The adoption was showcased as part of Jefferson County’s first Adoption Day celebration.
More than 100 courts across the state were expected to recognize National Adoption Day, which was established in 2000 by a coalition of national child-welfare organizations to raise awareness of the thousands of foster children available for adoption and awaiting permanent families.
Courts in Washington state began celebrating statewide in 2005. Since then, more than 750 children have been adopted during National Adoption Day events.
In a scenario that has become increasingly more common, Cody was adopted by his Port Ludlow grandfather, who has taken care of him for the last 18 months.
Durham’s daughter — and Cody’s mother — has been legally deemed unfit to take care of her three children.
Cody’s brother, Christopher, 9, is living with Mary Durham but has not been legally adopted.
Cody’s sister has already been adopted by another family.
During Wednesday’s ceremony, the Superior Court’s courtroom was filled with members of the Durham family, along with friends, public officials and people who helped facilitate the adoption.
While Judge Craddock Verser administered a formal adoption oath to Gale Durham, Cody danced around and chattered, clearly excited to be part of the proceedings.
“This is the most pleasant job a Superior Court judge has,” Verser said. “Thank you.”
Cody, who did not seem to be paying attention, then piped up with a loud, cheerful “thank you!” of his own.
“It’s a sad day for a lot of younger people when their parents can’t take care of them,” Gale Durham said.
“Grandparents are stepping in. It’s all part of being a family.”
Gale Durham said the adoption process wasn’t particularly difficult. He said of the Department of Social and Health Services’ Children’s Administration that “if you do right by them, they will do right by you.”
Gale Durham is disabled, his left arm permanently damaged after an industrial accident.
Cody is suffering from a genetic disability that affects both his mental and physical agility.
None of this matters, according to Mary Durham, who said “the two of them have really bonded.”
Gale Durham said he has found a strong connection with Cody and that the most exciting part “is I get to see the world through his eyes.”
Social worker Virginia Kime said that she admired anyone who adopted a child.
“It’s a very important sacrifice that adoptive parents make for the sake of the children,” she said.
“Children need to belong, and a lot of them have issues resulting from their parents being unable to take care of them.”
For more information, visit www.dshs.wa.gov.
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Jefferson County Reporter Charlie Bermant can be reached at 360-385-2335 or charlie.bermant@peninsuladailynews.com.
