PORT TOWNSEND — Brightly colored costumes, structurally questionable all-terrain vehicles and a painfully slow 50-yard roll through a pit of brown mud.
There is a word for events so absurd: kinetic.
By dictionary definition, the word pertains to motion.
At times during the 26th annual Great Port Townsend Bay Kinetic Skulpture Race on Sunday afternoon, there was very little of that.
The futile flop over Port Townsend Bay, the tire-halting sand pits at Fort Worden State Park and the muddy man-made “dismal bog” at Jefferson County Fairgrounds assured that any kinetic activity would be difficult, at best.
But for this group of racers and sideline fans, kinetic is more of an idea than a definition.
“It’s about the energy,” said Janet Emery, the race’s high priestess for life.
“We’re out here promoting human power, all-terrain art.
“But the energy is through the ceiling here, it’s about the spirit of the race.”
A glorious day
When asked about the race itself, most respondents said it was all about the glory.
“For the glory,” several racers yelled while stuck in the bog.
The crowd responded in kind, all screaming back: “For the glory!”
The fairgrounds’ mud pit was likely the most glorious, absurd and testing of the trials.
While spectators remarked that the bog just simply wasn’t as muddy as last year, the long stretch of saturated soil acted as a solid measuring stick of futility, effectively bottlenecking the field into an evenly contested race for the most coveted prize of the event.
That’s the Mediocrity Award, a designation given to the skulpture which finishes in the middle of the pack.
It’s always a heavily desirable designation among race participants.
It acts as a symbol of marginal achievement and a true designation of indifferent attitude toward success.
“We always have a great shot at the Mediocrity Award,” said Tony Meek, a Canadian participant piloting his third trip through the bog.
“We win something every year, so we are right in the running.”
Meek and his team of racers pulled their train of bicycles adorned with sandwich boards declaring, “Art Not Fear,” a bit too quickly through the mud this year.
Instead, the Mediocrity Award went to Peter Wagner of Davis, Calif.
“This is so great,” said Wagner, who raced in the skulpture “Bucking for Glory.”
“You guys are great,” he told the crowd.
“It’s fun to come here and get dirty with you guys,”
In the end, it didn’t really matter who finished at the center of the pack. It was the absurdity of the day that counted.
At one point, Meek stood on the far side of the dismal bog and yelled out to the Counterfeit Bluesmobile stuck in the mud:
“We know you Americans want to do it all on your own, but throw the rope,” he shouted as a round of laughter erupted from the crowd.
“Toss a line to Canada!”
The Blues Brothers team took the tow rope and threw it to their northern neighbors, who yanked the Bluesmobile from the sticky mud.
“I love this event,” Meek said.
“I love that everyone here comes out for it.
“This is great, it’s a great event and a great town.”
