SEQUIM — A health care worker is looking to demystify death and dying by publishing a free newsletter about the topic supplemented by meetings where people can discuss their feelings in a casual, noncommercial setting.
“In our culture we are reluctant to talk about death and dying,” said Alicia Jean Demetropolis, who has just published the first edition of the quarterly Death Over Coffee newsletter.
“It affects how we live and make decisions as we figure out how to cope with this,” she said.
Along with the newsletter, Demetropolis, a certified medical exercise specialist and a caregiver who specializes in working with end-of-life clients, hopes to present a series of events across the North Olympic Peninsula.
The discussion will begin at 8:30 a.m. Saturday at Rainshadow Coffee, 157 W. Cedar St., Sequim.
The event is free, although Demetropolis requests that all those attending purchase a food or drink item at the cafe.
Since discussions of death can be uncomfortable, they are sometimes made easier in the presence of a snack and a beverage, Demetropolis said.
“As a society we always get together to drink coffee and tea and sometimes eat cake,” she said.
“There is something soothing about being in a coffee shop and talking about death because it makes it less uncomfortable.”
Aside from the food, an important part of a successful Death Over Coffee meeting is a lack of pressure, Demetropolis said.
“People can talk to each other in an environment where they are not being judged,” she said.
“No one is trying to sell you a product, a service or a belief system, but if you have all the answers this won’t be for you.”
Demetropolis said there will be no agenda, theme, presentations, featured speakers or commercial pitches — only discussion.
The Death Over Coffee movement began in France in 2010 and spread quickly to England, Demetropolis said.
It came to the United States in 2012 and has grown ever since. While they take place in Seattle, Demetropolis said her cafe is the only one on the North Olympic Peninsula.
The success of Saturday’s event will determine when and where the next one will occur.
Similarly, her newsletter is in beta test, with only 100 copies printed and distributed to offices and copy shops throughout the area.
There aren’t enough distributed so people can take them home.
Demetropolis hopes to eventually make them available on a website which is not yet live.
Demetropolis said there is no target demographic for the event, with the possibility that everyone from teenagers to those with terminal illnesses will attend.
Teenagers who attend do so because they want to understand relatives who are aging and how they want to behave when they become elderly, Demetropolis said.
“If you attend expecting something really grim you might be surprised,” Demetropolis said.
“We don’t look at this being morbid and it’s not depressing. We share laughter and funny stories.”
It won’t be for everybody, she said, and anyone in need of grief counseling should look elsewhere.
Demetropolis, 49, is financing this venture on her own, saying it represents a confluence of her health care day jobs.
“I was always the morbid child,” she said.
“I was fascinated by near-death stories and read accounts of peoples’ experiences through the years and across cultures.
“I’ve never been afraid of or intimidated by death and couldn’t understand why people didn’t want to talk about it.”
To contact Demetropolis or to make a reservation write deathovercoffee@gmail.com.
For general information, go to http://deathcafe.com.
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Jefferson County Editor Charlie Bermant can be reached at 360-385-2335 or cbermant@peninsuladailynews.com.
