PORT TOWNSEND — All you need to bring to the Consent Tea, Cheryl Weinstein said, is an open mind.
“We’re doing the whole nine, as close to high tea as we can get,” she said of the free, drop-in event from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. Monday.
Weinstein, an advocate at Dove House, will cohost the tea for guests of all ages at the Recovery Cafe, 939 Kearney St.
While the refreshments and indoor and outdoor activities are light-hearted, the topic is a serious and practical one. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, so it’s an opportune time to learn what consent in sexual situations is and is not.
“When we’re talking about sexual activity, consent means every step of the way is an emphatic ‘yes,’” Weinstein said.
At the Consent Tea, everyone is welcome, including teenagers, adults and parents with children, she added.
Videos and discussion are part of the tea, along with information about how consent works in our culture.
Dove House offers materials with tips: To start, the absence of a “no” does not mean “yes.” True consent is:
• Freely given, coherent and ongoing;
• Enthusiastic, comfortable and based on equal power;
• Sober;
• Free of gender “rules,” as any partner may want to take it slow.
Consent is not:
• Flirting or dressing in sexy clothes;
• Saying yes because you feel pressured;
• Accepting a ride or a drink;
• If you’ve had to convince them;
• Saying yes while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.
Any person has the right to revoke consent — say no — at any time, Weinstein added.
Consent is when “the folks involved in an intimate relationship are in total agreement about what’s about to happen with their bodies.”
In addition to Monday’s Consent Tea, Weinstein and her colleagues at Dove House are talking with local high school students and to bartenders.
“We’re opening up that conversation,” she said, about consent — and sexual assault prevention — with Port Townsend and Chimacum high school juniors and seniors as they move on to adulthood and perhaps college life.
“Also, we’re doing some bartender education,” sharing materials at bars in the Port Townsend-Port Hadlock-Chimacum areas.
Yet another effort during Sexual Assault Awareness Month in April is happening in the court system.
“We have a legal advocate on staff,” Weinstein said, “and we’re encouraging folks to support the victims and survivors in cases involving sexual assault.”
To find out more about this work and other advocacy and education efforts at Dove House, email frontdesk@dovejc.org or visit dovehousejc.org. Located at 1045 10th St. in Port Townsend, the organization can be reached at 360-385-5292. Its 24-hour crisis phone line is 360-385-5291.
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Jefferson County Senior Reporter Diane Urbani de la Paz can be reached at 360-417-3509 or durbanidelapaz @peninsuladailynews.com.
