At first, I thought he was a chunk of driftwood bobbing along in the waves. But as I got closer, I could see that it was a young, male mallard duck, flipping over and over, trying to keep his head above water.
It’s hard to believe that a duck could be drowning, but that is exactly what I was witnessing. For reasons I could not ascertain, this young duck was extremely disoriented and struggling to stay alive.
Of course, I waded out to help him out. I was surprised — and touched really — that he did not try to get away from me. Rather, he passively allowed me to pick him up, carry him in my arms while I walked to the shelter of the Kala Point lagoon, and set him down where the other mallards were congregating.
When I released him, a female mallard quacked repeatedly and loudly as she quickly went to his aid. She also quacked in this manner when I came back later in the day to check on him, leaving me to wonder if she was his mother.
Now contrast this scene to the one I experienced last week while walking on this same beach. This time I saw a middle-aged woman in need of help. No, she wasn’t drowning but was struggling to carry a huge tree branch that had washed up on shore. It was beautiful, she later explained, and she wanted to place it on display in her front yard.
I noticed that she’d already been working hard. She was pausing to rest and sip some water, and we could see the long trail in the sand, revealing how far she’d already dragged it.
“Need a hand?” I asked her.
“Oh, my goodness!” she said. “I can’t believe you’re offering to help me. That just doesn’t happen anymore.”
But then she declined my help.
“Thank you, but I’ve got it,” was the last thing she said.
But she didn’t.
The next morning when I went for my daily walk, I saw the tree branch that she loved so much still on the beach. It was lying where she had clearly dropped it when she couldn’t carry it any further.
It made me sad to see it there because it made me wonder: What is it that makes us so reticent to accept the help of others?
Don’t get me wrong; I am among the reticent.
Yes, even though I know how rewarding it is to help someone out, it is hard for me to accept help when it’s offered to me. Why is this?
I think it’s hard for us to admit we can’t do everything ourselves.
Recognizing we need something from another person can feel like a burden on them.
And who wants to be a burden? But sometimes our reluctance to seek help goes deeper than that, doesn’t it?
When we ask for help, it can make us feel that we’re somehow not good enough, worthy enough or lovable enough to put someone else out.
One of the benefits of being part of communities of faith, however, is that we are constantly reminded of the need to help one another. It is good for us; it is good for others; it is pleasing to God.
From Christianity: “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Mathew 25:40 NIV).
From Judaism: “And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” (Hebrews 13:16).
From Buddhism: “If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path” (The Buddha).
From Islam: “The reward of goodness in nothing but goodness” (Al Quaran 55:61).
All the world’s faith traditions remind us that no one makes it through life alone. Whether you’re a struggling young duck, a middle-aged woman lugging a beautiful branch, or someone silently carrying a burden, please remember that we all need help now and then.
May this reminder stay with us as we cope this challenging and beautiful life.
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Issues of Faith is a rotating column by religious leaders on the North Olympic Peninsula. The Rev. Kate Lore is a minister at the Quimper Unitarian Universalist Fellowship in Port Townsend. Her email is katelore@gmail.com.
