“AND HE SHALL turn the heart of the parents to the children, and heart of the children to their parents” (Malachi 3:24).
Sometimes our children ask difficult questions. My 4-year-old grandson recently asked a series of rapid-fire questions: “What does being Jewish mean? How are we Jewish? What do you have to do to be Jewish?”
I pondered how to explain the core concepts of Judaism in words a 4-year-old could grasp.
My daughter-in-law began by reminding him of the woman they had seen outside the store that day who needed food and they gave her money. That, she said, was one example of what it means to be Jewish.
We talked about the Jewish things we do together, such as celebrating and learning about Judaism when our family gathers during the holidays of Passover and Chanukah. And when we celebrate the joy of Shabbat by lighting candles, tasting sweet wine and sharing homemade challah.
Two concepts that are central in Jewish tradition are pursuing justice and living ethically.
To illustrate those ideas to our children, we must live by example, making sure we treat others with kindness and fairness, giving money to help those who have less and doing all we can for people who are suffering.
As we continue to celebrate Jewish events together, my grandson can find answers to his questions and understand the importance in Judaism of being kind and compassionate to everyone.
A reason it’s hard to define Judaism, even to adults, is because it is more than just a belief system.
Rabbi Rachel Sabath Beit-Halachmi says, “If someone tells you that Judaism is X or Y, you should never believe them. Judaism is such a complex civilization: it is made up of religion and culture, language and land, and a particular kind of peoplehood … But despite all our complexities, we can say something very clear about who we are … I believe that, at its core, Judaism primarily strives to achieve two particular goals: the ethical development of human beings and the establishment of an ethical society.”
We learn how to do this by studying the lessons in the Torah, always trying to see ourselves in its stories.
One of the most important admonitions woven throughout the Torah is that we must open our hands and hearts and take care of those who are in need. Thirty-six times the Torah instructs us to help “the widow, the orphan, the poor and the stranger.”
We are repeatedly reminded that we were once slaves in Egypt, and thus we know what it’s like to be desperate and in need.
In Deuteronomy, we are taught that our everyday behaviors illustrate who we are.
Notice the emphasis is on our behavior rather than faith.
Choosing to do what’s good and right, even though it may be difficult, and choosing that which sustains life and human society, is an essential part of being Jewish. Our children will watch us and learn from our behavior how they should act in an ethical way.
In contemplating my grandson’s questions, I turned to a book that has been on my shelf for years, “How to Raise a Jewish Child” by Rabbi Hayim Donin.
The section on the basic values of Judaism and what kind of people we want our children to be is instructive: To love and revere God, to love our neighbor, to respect human dignity, to regard life as sacred, to strive for holiness, to study Torah, to cherish Israel, to love justice, to be compassionate and to show civic responsibility.
Obviously, these values should not apply just to our children.
As adults, we should all strive to attain these goals in our lives.
In following the command, “Make it known to your children and to your children’s children” (Deuteronomy 4:9), we will create a society that is truly kind, compassionate and holy.
Kein yehi ratzon … may it be God’s will. Shalom.
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Issues of Faith is a rotating column by five religious leaders on the North Olympic Peninsula. Suzanne DeBey is a lay leader of the Port Angeles Jewish community. Her email is debeyfam@ olympus.net.
