THE HOLIDAY SEASON can bring mixed emotions for many.
For some, this is our favorite time of year.
We get to sing familiar songs, bring out treasured decorations and catch up with old friends and family members.
For others, though, the holidays leave us feeling sad, lonely and economically stressed.
Feeling depressed or anxious is not unusual during this time of year, especially for anyone who has experienced a divorce, the loss of a loved one or a recent move.
It is for you that I share these tips on lessening the Holiday Blues:
1. Be realistic, and try not to expect the “ideal” holiday.
So many of us have an idealized version of what the holidays should be like and are very disappointed when we don’t live up to those expectations.
Try to be realistic.
Remember, nobody has a perfect holiday or perfect family.
2. Keep to your regular routine.
Changes in routine can lead to additional stress.
Try to awaken and exercise at your usual time, stick to as normal a diet as possible and tend to the needs of your spirit.
3. Think moderation.
While it will be easy to drink, eat and purchase too much this month, try to refrain from overindulging yourself or others.
While these activities might feel like they are temporarily easing your pain, they can eventually lead to intensified feelings of regret, remorse and financial stress.
4. Stay connected.
It is so easy to self-isolate when we’re feeling the blues.
More often than not, however, being alone just intensifies our misery.
So please try to reserve some time to spend with friends and/or family who value you.
And if they don’t live close by, give them a call.
It’s OK to ask for support if you need it.
5. Throw guilt out the window.
Try not to put unreasonable pressure on yourself to buy the perfect gifts, write the perfect holiday messages or exude the perfect amount of holiday cheerfulness.
Likewise, try not to overanalyze your interactions with others.
Give yourself a break this holiday season.
6. Help others.
If you anticipate spending the holidays alone, try volunteering somewhere, like a shelter, warming center, food bank or school.
Brighten the lives of others by visiting someone who is house-bound or alone, making cookies for neighbors, donating blood to the Red Cross or practicing random acts of kindness on a daily basis.
7. Focus on today, not yesterday.
There’s something about being with family and old friends that can revert us to former childhood patterns that no longer serve us well.
Or we might simply yearn for prior years when our kids were young or our families were still intact.
If that happens during a holiday celebration, try to walk away for a minute and remember who you are now.
It’s neither helpful nor necessary to play the same roles we did when we were younger, even if others are encouraging you to do so by their behaviors.
If there is someone at the get-together who can relate to your current self, make sure to reach out to them and draw them into the interactions.
That will help to ground you.
8. Just say no.
It’s OK to say no when you’re asked to do more than you can.
It’s fine to say no to some invitations and fine to say no to those asking for favors.
Remember, this is your holiday too.
9. Ask for help.
Holidays are often a time when we attempt to take on too much.
It’s OK to ask for help from family and friends.
Whether for decorating, shopping, cooking or a shoulder to lean on, please ask.
10. Be good to yourself.
If you’re feeling blue, be kind to yourself.
Do what you enjoy doing: reading, taking a walk, watching a movie or attending events that truly bring you joy.
Remember, this is your holiday too.
The holidays only come once a year and only last for a few weeks.
It’s my sincere hope that you’ll consider following at least a few of these 10 tips.
If you do, you very likely may find yourself experiencing less stress and more joy.
Happy Holidays.
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Issues of Faith is a rotating column by five religious leaders on the North Olympic Peninsula. The Rev. Kate Lore is a minister at the Quimper Unitarian Universalist Fellowship in Port Townsend. Her email is katelore@gmail.com.
