MOST OF US love to believe that if people just had the right information, they’d change their minds and agree with our own understanding of reality. But it simply isn’t true.
That’s because providing people with information that challenges their cherished beliefs is more likely to engender defensive avoidance than receptive processing.
So, what are we supposed to do when we encounter someone with a radically different worldview than our own — especially when their worldview threatens the health and safety of others?
I recommend that we start by remembering that each of us has different life experiences and, therefore, different perceptions of reality.
For example: As a white, progressive, middle-class woman of the Boomer generation, I have a radically different set of life experiences than, say, a Latino, conservative, working class, male GenXer. As such, you can expect that this man and I might have very different perceptions on what it takes to be a good leader. Or a good parent. Or a good citizen.
Similarly, a poor, Black woman working on voting rights in the South would have a very different set of life experiences than, say, a wealthy, white woman — and they would certainly face different degrees of danger when knocking on doors or speaking out at a Town Hall meeting. But they’d also have very different perceptions on how to effectively organize the Black community. Or how to elicit support from the white community.
So, there is no single truth to any of this. But by working together — cognizant of our different realities — our understanding of the truth expands. Different life experiences; different perspectives; different pieces of the truth.
So, when we encounter someone with a very different viewpoint, and we want to take them to task, we must ask ourselves: Are we going to lead with our egos (that part of us that wants to be right and put them in their place)? Or are we going to lead with our hearts (the part of us that values relationships over opinions)?
The point I’m making here is that if we truly want to reduce the political and ideological polarization happening in our country, arguing with others won’t help us in the long run.
So rather than coming up with the best author to support our own views, rather than weaponizing YouTube videos, we need to focus instead on what it will take to help people be as receptive as possible to information that conflicts with what they already believe. And that can’t happen if we aren’t in a relationship with them.
Sadly, there are no simple tricks to cutting through another person’s worldview — or acceptance of misinformation — or a belief in value systems contrary to our own. If there were, we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in.
So we must realize that if we truly want to influence those around us, we’re going to have to provide examples of the conduct we want to see.
As Michelle Obama so famously said: “When they go low, go high.” In other words, we, ourselves, have to be examples of open-heartedness and open-mindedness. We, ourselves,must demonstrate a sincere desire to understand another person. We, ourselves, must be willing to have a change in perspective, and to feel empathy — even for those we might ordinarily consider our foes.
This is exceedingly difficult to do, of course, and I fail at it regularly because I, like you, am human. Plus, I always place the highest priority on the rights, opinions and feelings of historically marginalized people — which some consider a bias on my part. I justify this bias, of course, because Jesus had it, too. But don’t we all justify our biases?
So being successful at bridging ideological chasms isn’t for spiritual lightweights. It requires both practice and a willingness to start over when we fail.
We must tap into the power of love to accomplish this. We must return, again and again, to the understanding that although we hold many ideas and experiences in common, none of us are experiencing the same world in the very same way.
During these days of heightened friction, may each of us practice more humility, acknowledging that each of us have different blindspots. And let us remember that on our own — without interaction with people living different realities than our own — we will only ever hold a partial truth.
In this way, we are each supported in a respectful, responsible search for truth and freedom as we work to bring God’s heaven on earth.
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Issues of Faith is a rotating column by religious leaders on the North Olympic Peninsula. The Rev. Kate Lore is a Jefferson County Hospital Oncology Chaplain in Port Townsend. Her email is katelore@gmail.com.
