I HOPE WE’RE all taking a moment to congratulate ourselves.
We got through Medicare Part D open enrollment, Thanksgiving, Christmas (or whatever you might celebrate), New Year’s and, along the way, managed to weather mid-term elections.
We all deserve a little slack, before we decide where in the backyard to bury the gifted fruitcake.
Today, we all have better things to think about. I hope.
So, today I’m going to fall back to the theme of this whole column “thing” and try to offer some “help.”
You know how I’m always going on about scams, hustles and ID theft?
The reason I do that is because I believe that most of us have better things to do with what money we have than giddily give it away to bad guys, such as pay the heating bill or buy underwear or whatever.
Well, I got a scam through email.
Now remember I work on a state-run network that has several thousand layers of firewalls, filters and Lord-knows what else, but nonetheless there it was.
And if it got to me, through all of that, I can assure you that it could get to you.
Then it occurred to me that a lot of us might have never actually seen one of these scams, so here it is, in its reprehensible entirety:
“WORLD BANK DELEGATION
“DEBT RECONCILIATION COMMITTEE
“EUROPEAN REGIONAL REPRESENTATIVE
“Attn: (Category “A” beneficiary)
“APPROVED PAYMENT RELEASE NOTIFICATION OF $15.5 MILLON DOLLARS ONLY.
“This is to inform you that a final clearance has been granted to you on your overdue payment by this organization together with the international debt management office London, mandate with immediate effect for the release of your long overdue contract / inheritance / winning payment voucher as a category ‘A’ beneficiary.
“To this effect, we have decided to step in to regularize and settle all outstanding payments to every genuine beneficiary and all scammed victims, as we have arranged every payment/ transfer to be made through the NatWest Bank, London.
“However, you has [sic] been issued with the below exclusive reference number so you’re hereby advised to take note of the payment referrals code below for easy claims whenever [sic] you asked to quote your referral code: ABA / WBO / NatWest / 0A11-10, as it is part of the security clearance that has been granted from the European central services depository association (Ecsda).
“You are therefore advised to contact the “Credit Manger, Corporate Banking Section NatWest Bank London:
“MR. MARK CATTON
“Email: wiretransfer-nat.west@ w.cn
“Direct Telephone: +44-702-4036726 [sic]
“with your banking details quoting the above reference numbers to confirm yourself as the bona fide recipient beneficiary so as to expedite the immediate clearance and release of your funds valued $15.5 Million dollars only into your bank account. Note, you are to forward all the necessary information by following the specimen below:
“1) YOUR FULL NAME & ADDRESS:
“2) PHONE, FAX AND MOBILE:
“3) YOUR BANK’S NAME & ADDRESS:
“BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:
“ROUTING NUMBER:
“SWIFT CODE:
“4) PROFESSION, AGE AND MARITAL STATUS:
“5) COPY OF YOUR INT’L PASSPORT/DRIVERS LICENSE for IDENTIFICATION:
“However, genuine beneficiaries are strictly advised to desist from further correspondence with other offices both local /international except on the above recommendation, contrary to the above stipulation this honourable office will not be held responsible for any misfortune.
“This program is a World Bank initiative in fighting the global financial crises.
“Be guided accordingly.
“MRS. HELEN WHITE.
“Legal Department, World Bank Delegations
“Regional Representative U.K.
“Note: remember to quote your referral code: ABA / WBO / NatWest / 0A11-10 while contacting the Credit Manger, NatWest Bank London:
“MR. MARK CATTON
“Email: wiretransfer-nat.west@w.cn
“Direct Telephone: +44-702-4036726”
And there you have it.
Scary, huh? Looks pretty official, right?
But I’ll bet you noticed, as did I, the funny little grammatical errors, right?
And you probably also noticed that if I bit on this thing and sent them all the info that they want in order to get my missing $15.5 million, they’d own my life before dinner.
So, why do we bite?
Because we want to believe.
We want to believe in miracles.
We want to believe that our little lives could suddenly become magical in an instant, so we decide to believe in magic.
We don’t think for a moment that rabbits live in hats, so why would we believe that “MRS. HELEN WHITE” or “MR. MARK CATTON” are going to suddenly drop a cool $15.5 million in the middle of the leftover mashed potatoes?
Because we want to believe, so here’s what one really looks like.
Now, do you still want to believe in magic?
Good.
Now, consider the fact that we’re barely into a brand new, shiny year (2019, if you’re writing checks today), then think about your life. Your whole life.
Then, forget about this dark stuff, because today we have better things to think about.
I hope.
________
Mark Harvey is director of Clallam/Jefferson Senior Information & Assistance, which operates through the Olympic Area Agency on Aging. He is also a member of the Community Advocates for Rural Elders partnership. He can be reached at 360-452-3221 (Port Angeles-Sequim), 360-385-2552 (Jefferson County) or 360-374-9496 (West End), or by emailing harvemb@dshs.wa.gov.
