PORT ANGELES — So this guy named Alferd — not Alfred, Alferd — Packer decides to take a hike in the mountains in winter.
He and his crew are looking for gold, but they get lost. Hopelessly.
So, Alferd sings some songs and eats some people.
Yes, that is the horrifying but true story behind “Cannibal! The Musical,” the show opening Thursday in, of all places, the Little Theater at Peninsula College, 1502 E. Lauridsen Blvd.
“Cannibal!” comes to life just five times: Thursday and Saturday night and next Thursday, Friday and Saturday, Nov. 17-19.
There’s no show this Friday because of the Veterans Day holiday, said Lara Starcevich, the Peninsula College drama professor directing the 15-member “Cannibal!” cast.
That is about the only thing about this that’s not rip-roaring irreverent.
Written by Parker of ‘South Park’
“Cannibal!” is “South Park” co-creator Trey Parker’s retelling of Packer’s story, complete with catchy ditties and power ballads.
Packer, you see, was supposedly the sole survivor of a trek into the Colorado Rockies during the winter of 1873-1874 and the only man in American history to be convicted of cannibalism.
In this show, he’s awaiting his execution and kills time by giving his side of the harrowing tale to news reporter Polly Pry.
So the play goes like this: While hunting for gold and love in the Colorado Territory, Packer and his companions lost their way and resorted to unthinkable acts — and toe-tapping songs.
“I have always wanted to do this show ever since I first saw the movie years ago,” said Mark Lorentzen, the Port Angeles actor portraying Packer.
Lorentzen, whom theater fans may remember from the Port Angeles Light Opera’s “Pirates of Penzance” last summer, caught the “Cannibal!” movie, directed by and starring Parker, after it came out in 1993.
Enchanted by songs such as “Shpadoinkle Day,” he saw the lead role as a rare opportunity.
“You get to do a little bit of everything,” he said: “comedy, horror, romance, ballet.”
Starcevich added that “South Park” humor is alive and kicking in “Cannibal!,” and that’s what she adores.
“It’s not only entertainment, but the humor dismantles all political correctness,” the professor said.
One of her favorite songs in the show is “Let’s Build a Snowman” because “it’s just so ridiculous. It’s absurd, and it comes out of nowhere.”
Now, “Cannibal!” is not for everybody.
“We should have put ‘for mature audiences’ on the poster. It’s a little gory,” Starcevich said.
‘Tongue-in-cheek gory’
“But it’s all sort of tongue-in-cheek gory, not like horror-movie gory. It’s silly, goofy gory,” like last fall’s musical at the college.
That was “The Rocky Horror Show,” another production that could “rub some people the wrong way,” as Starcevich put it.
Yet “I like there to be a variety of shows offered out here and more for the younger population to go and see,” she said, adding that, hey, “it’s fun to laugh.”
For those who wonder whether they have the stomach for “Cannibal!,” Lorentzen has encouraging words:
“Picture the musical ‘Oklahoma!,’ add in a little Michael Bolton, some ‘Blazing Saddles’ and a bit of ‘South Park,’ then top it all off with a dash of Hannibal Lecter and you’ve got ‘Cannibal! the Musical,’” he said.
“Also, the songs are extremely catchy; you simply will not be able to keep from humming the tunes for weeks on end.”
Curtain time for all performances is 7:30 p.m., and tickets are free for Peninsula College students, $5 for other students, $15 for the general public and $12 for seniors.
For information, visit www.PenCol.edu or phone the college at 360-452-9277.
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Features Editor Diane Urbani de la Paz can be reached at 360-417-3550 or diane.urbani@peninsuladailynews.com.
